Shop Until You Drop

"Fecal Matter Found on 72 Percent of Grocery Carts"

When I first read that headline, I was reminded of a comment my late father made about 20 years ago to my dear wife.  He was having dinner with us and she was then proceeding through (rapidly, thank God) a mildly "green" phase in her life.  She reported to him with pride that the carrots he was enjoying were in fact organically grown.  As he brought the fork to his mouth he said without missing a beat, "Really?  You know, I swear I can almost smell the manure."

But I was wrong, that' not what the headline was referring to at all.

Rather, it was about a study done by researchers from the University of Arizona who reported that grocery store shopping carts were virtually covered with, well, with exactly what the headline says.

After remembering that interchange of long ago between my wife and my dad, my second thought was, "Oh no!  What will liberal legislators do with this?"

Let's face it, you don't have to think very hard to imagine some Democrat politician like, oh I don't know, Senator Chuck Schumer of New York, standing before an excited media gaggle, decrying this latest outrage and demanding that something be done about it...now!...for the children.  "If we can put a man on the moon..."  The speech would be followed very shortly thereafter with the introduction of the "Shopping Cart Control Act of 2011"  Reasonable regulation they would argue, not outright prohibition.

You see at first, sensing an opportunity to stick it to Wal-Mart as well, Schumer and many other Democrats would have been moved to outlaw the carts altogether.  But when a sympathetic reporter, from the New York Times perhaps, asks about the potential effect of such legislation on the homeless, a key Democrat constituency, cooler heads would prevail.

Ahh, the liberal mind at work.  God help us.