Four of ten children in the U.S. are now born without married parents. Four of ten! Let's face it, that also means that nearly four of ten children will be reared without a father as well. If this is not already a disaster, it's a disaster waiting to happen...and soon!
In the name of compassion, not to mention the frisson experienced with the shedding of those dreadful puritanical sensibilities, we've removed virtually every cost once associated with unwed pregnancy. We've lowered, in some cases eliminated altogether, the material, social, and moral price one used to have to pay for bearing or fathering a child out of wedlock. Is the word "bastard" even in the dictionary anymore? You'll not find Hollywood using it, and they usually revel in being as inventively potty-mouthed as possible.
And to think I was told (am still told, in fact) that the pill and condoms in the classroom will solve all this.
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Dear Sage....a sad state indeed. Those of us who are middle-aged at minimum have lived through this transition period and, as a result, are perhaps most deeply affected by this crisis. In truth, there has been evidence for some time that information alone DOES NOT change behavior. Only values can do that. HIV infection rates among young people should be close to zero given the amount of information that is disseminated about which behaviors place one at risk. Alas, this is not the case, and the same is true for teens avoiding pregnancy. In youth we all faced temptations but mostly refused to give in, not because we were sinless, morally superior, smarter, etc., but because we had been taught a set of values. I think it's wonderful that those who transgress no longer have to wear scarlet letters advertising that fact, but we have set this generation up for enormous difficulty and set them adrift. God help us (and them)!
ReplyDeleteI agree that values are what we need. Unfortunately the removal of the "scarlet letter" as it were is simply an acknowledgement that we don't hold our values dear enough to believe they are right and should impact our culture. We have simply given up the idea that anyone should be encouraged to believe something that they didn't think up themselves. For my part, the fear of public shame has always had a restraining effect on my behaviour, and rightly so. Once we remove the stigma of shame we, by default, replace it with acceptance. What we are really saying is that we wish others would share in our values but it is quite ok if they don't. What I find most amazing in all of this is that anyone is suprised by where we are.
ReplyDeleteShaming others does more to make us feel self-righteous than it does to curb others' bad behavior. Holding people accountable for their bad decisions can, and should, take many forms. How that looks will depend on the offense. Fear of public humiliation may change future choices to some extent, but it doesn't "transform the inner man," which should ultimately be our goal. I wouldn't want to throw the baby out with the bath water, but I know few, if any, people who could be trusted to use shame judiciously.
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